The News With Nothing to Hide

There’s a new program on the French comedy channel called “Les Nuz.”

An attractive newscaster in a businesslike skirt suit and silk top delivers the day’s news on a brightly-lit set. Shortly into the broadcast, she removes the jacket. All those lights must be hot, you think to yourself as you wonder about the likelihood of successful enforcement of North Korean sanctions. Then she starts unbuttoning the shirt. Is this girl out of her mind?

Oh, she is sooooo fired, you think, as she talks about the long-awaited Afghan exhibit opening at the Guimet Museum in Paris and her shirt hits the floor. Why the hell aren’t they cutting to commercial?

Next, the skirt comes off. Unbelievable! At least she’s wearing matching undergarments on the day she showed up at work drunk, you think. That will be some small consolation later, when she’s telling the story during “group” at rehab. And Bordeaux beat Sochaux last night. Good for them.

By the time she gets to the weather, she has dispensed with the bra as well and is wearing nothing but a thong and high heels. About now, it dawns on you that “Nuz” is not only pronounced the same as the word “news,” but also the word “nus,” which is French for “naked.” The naked news. You glance at the parental advisory icon in the corner of the screen, which says that the program is not recommended for children ten years old and younger. Only in France. And Canada, apparently, where the program originated and whose version is actually called “Naked News: The Program With Nothing to Hide.”

The show doesn’t discriminate, though. There are male presenters as well, evidenced in the clip above, which begins with a cheery “Good evening, my name is Esteban and I’m a boy.” This, presumably, is in case there are viewers who find him pretty enough to be unsure or whose sexual identity is fragile enough that the prospect of seeing a man strip down to his underwear would cause an emotional crisis necessitating a hasty channel change.

If you’re interested in the Canadian version (and you’re over ten), which is in English and features female newscasters, go to: www.nakednews.com

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