Ten Things You Didn’t Know About Me

I normally wouldn’t do one of these, since I suspect that most of you already know more about me than you would like, but to steal a phrase from the nice person herself, “a really nice person asked me to.” So here it goes…

1. Though I like both chocolate and ice cream, I don’t like chocolate ice cream. (We’re starting with an easy one.)

2. I can tie a cherry stem in a knot with my tongue. It is one of the few things I learned in college. It is certainly the one that people are most impressed by.

3. I usually avoid these “tell me a little bit about yourself” situations when at all possible because I haven’t the slightest clue how to accurately describe myself… I am generous and selfish, fancy-shmancy and down-to-earth, incondsiderate and thoughtful, stubborn and accomodating, fun and dull, outrageous and practical, smart as a whip and dumb as a stump. I love going to parties and being social but love a quiet night at home just as much. I am a study in contrasts. I am, to use a phrase I just read in Vanity Fair, “like a vitamin that smokes.”

4. When I was little, I suspected my father might be James Bond. I didn’t really understand what his job was (he is an engineer), but he always had tons and tons of gadgets around and sometimes had to travel internationally. Also, he drank martinis. You can see how that would be confusing for a little kid. Before that, I thought he might be Superman. But this was because he had a framed photograph of himself on his desk where he is emerging from a phone booth in a suit, pulling away his shirt and tie to reveal a Superman t-shirt underneath (Dad, where is that picture now?). The glasses he wore at the time were really Clark Kent-y, too. Although, being the 70s, everyone’s glasses were pretty Clark Kent-y, weren’t they? Anyway, he could lift stuff that seemed really heavy to me and he always knew when I was doing something wrong, which made me suspect he could see through walls.

5. Celebrities I have met include Bob Seger, Roger Ebert and MTV’s Martha Quinn. So, not ones that I (or anyone else) would have chosen. And for the record, Bob Seger is a real jerk.

6. I am a salt-aholic. It runs in my family. “Dinner conversation” at our house was what happened during the few moments when you were not being asked to pass the salt or asking someone else to pass the salt yourself. My sister and I have a pact that when we are old, if some doctor tries to put one of us on a salt-restricted diet, the other will do the humane thing and just pull the plug. Actually, you should probably file this one under “10 Things Everyone Knows About Me.”

7. After college, I did some voice-over work for TV and radio ads. I was once paid $300 to say just three sentences. Cha-ching!

8. I had a happy childhood (see pics). And look, my mother dressed me like one of the Brady kids and combed the curls out of my hair so I’d look like Marcia for my first day of kindergarten. Groovy.

9. I have never had surgery or broken a bone. I got my first cavity when I was 31 years old.

10. I heckle the news. “I’m glad you asked about British Petroleum’s comittment to the environment, Pamela. But first, let me make a quick call to my PR girl and thank her profusely for making sure that CNN sent a 26 year-old reporter with a journalism degree from Tallahassee Junior College to read softball questions directly from the list we faxed to her. After that, we can talk about what happened on last night’s ‘American Idol!’ No, wait, that one’s on the list we faxed to FOX. Nevermind.” So it’s not much fun to watch TV with me. Or it is, if you like that type of thing.

The End.

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