Scene from a Museum*

Scene: In line for the coat-check window at the Musée d’Orsay, Paris, France. A rainy autumn day.

Characters: Johann, Lisa and her parents (Jim and Joyce)

Lisa: This museum needs a new tagline, I think. Imagine this: “Show Me the Monet!”

Johann, Jim and Joyce laugh, but in a way that makes it plain that although they are acknowledging that someone has made a joke, they clearly think that this person is an idiot.

Lisa: It also works with Manet. Musée d’Orsay: Show Me the Manet!

More polite chuckles.

Lisa: And they could use a song, too. You know, for the radio ads.
She begins to sing, to the tune of Que Sera, Sera:

Georges Seurat, Seurat,
Whatever we’ll see, we’ll see,
But “Cirque” is the masterpiece,
Georges Seurat, Seurat…

The others smile indulgently but do not respond, hoping to put an end to this train of thought.

Lisa: You could use Edgar Dégas for that one, too.
She sings again, to the same tune:

Ed Dégas, Dégas,
He studied in Italy,
Drew horses in Normandy,
Ed Dégas, Dégas…

The others are openly ignoring her now, pretending she is waiting in the coat-check line alone, or possibly with someone, anyone, else. After a pause, Johann speaks to her.

Johann: So are you done now?

Lisa: No, no, I’m trying to think of something that rhymes with “Whistler’s Mother.”

Johann: How badly do all of you want your umbrellas back?

Jim: Not as badly as I want a cocktail with lunch.

Joyce: If you people need me, I’ll be in the gift shop buying a new umbrella.

* Based on a true story. Details have been exaggerated for comic effect. Author did not actually sing in museum. Author still thinks “Show Me the Monet” is pretty funny, though. No umbrellas were left behind in the making of this scene.


One thought on “Scene from a Museum*

  1. HAHAHA!, ok, wait, that wasn’t funny, well it WAS funny but it was funny because it wasn’t funny…um where am I going with this? Sounds like a good time in ol’ Paris! Sorry I haven’t gotten back to you yet, working on it….

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