Attention, wine lovers! Do you suffer from the kind of debilitating loneliness that can’t be cured with a puppy? Do you need something to fill the hours between the kids’ bedtime and yours when your spouse is out of town? Or maybe you’re a single person who could do with a nice glass of white wine after work, but can’t be bothered to go to a bar. Have I got the wine for you!
Domaine de la Solitude is a white Bordeaux made from 60% Sauvignon grapes and 40% Semillon grapes and has been given the distinction of being named a “Grand Vin” of its region. It’s a light, crisp, fruity wine that, as is clear from its name, has been specially made for drinking alone.
Wait. What’s this? Oh. I’ve been told that’s not right. It’s called that because it’s made by monks.
Okay, well I didn’t get it that wrong, did I? After all, what are monasteries but substance abuse centers where the patients are encouraged to develop their drinking problems in the safety and security of a mountaintop hideaway where they won’t endanger the general public with their drunken antics, erratic driving or late-night phone calls?
No? That’s not right either? Oh. Okay. Got it.
It seems that’s not what monasteries are all about after all. They’re places where like-minded men can retreat from the pressures of society in peace. They’re provided with their own tiny quarters there, which they leave only to join the other men in singing and communal meals. And also there’s an open bar.
Are you sure about this? Because now it sounds kind of like a gay cruise. Oh. I see.
All right. I guess a monastery IS just like I described it above only with lots more genuflection, deities and vows of silence than the gay cruise. And after “hallelujah,” they sing “amen,” not “it’s raining men.” There’s also some light gardening involved, which sounds nice, though the gay cruise still sounds like a lot more fun, quite frankly.
I guess the moral to this story is that learning about wine is hard.