Success!

I did it! I still can’t believe it’s true, but I did – I passed the written driver’s exam! And in French, without the help of a translator! I can’t take much credit for the success, though. It was all Johann.

You see, he parked in a different parking space than he did the last time I took the test, to rid us of the bad mojo. Then, instead reading a book while he waited for me, like he did last time, he took a walk and bought a newspaper. And rather than reading in the car, he waited in the vestibule and read there. He didn’t watch the door this time either, but turned his back to it and only looked when someone came out.

And instead of waiting quietly, he sang softly under his breath. The song? “Success” by Iggy Popp. So, as I’m sure you can see, this is really his victory. Three cheers for Johann!

Success
Iggy Popp
(I would post the song here for you to listen to, but I can’t figure out how, so you’ll have to be content with the lyrics.)

Here comes success
Over my hill
Here comes success
Well here comes my car
Here comes my Chinese rug
Here comes success

In the last ditch
I’ll think of you
In the last ditch
I will be true
Sweetheart, I’m telling you
Here comes the zoo

Here comes success
Hooray, success!
Here comes success
Hooray, success!
Oh, oh, success
I can’t help myself
I got to, got to, got to, got to…
I can’t stand it…

Here comes my face
It’s plain bizarre
Here comes my face
Out of the crowd
Sweetheart, I’m telling you
Here comes the zoo

In the last ditch
Here comes success
Here comes success
I’m gonna do the twist
I’m moved man, I’m wigged

Baby, let’s blast off
Blast off, find success
Oh, you slay me, baby
I’m gonna do the twist
I’m gonna hop like a frog
I’m gonna climb the street and do anything I want!

Scene from a Museum*

Musée d’Orsay

Scene: In line for the coat-check window at the Musée d’Orsay, Paris, France. A rainy autumn day.

Characters: Johann, Lisa and her parents (Jim and Joyce)

Lisa: This museum needs a new tagline, I think. Imagine this: “Show Me the Monet!”

Johann, Jim and Joyce laugh, but in a way that makes it plain that although they are acknowledging that someone has made a joke, they clearly think that this person is an idiot.

Lisa: It also works with Manet. Musée d’Orsay: Show Me the Manet!

More polite chuckles.

Musée d’Orsay

Lisa: And they could use a song, too. You know, for the radio ads.
She begins to sing, to the tune of Que Sera, Sera:

Georges Seurat, Seurat,
Whatever we’ll see, we’ll see,
But “Cirque” is the masterpiece,
Georges Seurat, Seurat…

The others smile indulgently but do not respond, hoping to put an end to this train of thought.

Musée d’Orsay

Lisa: You could use Edgar Dégas for that one, too.
She sings again, to the same tune:

Ed Dégas, Dégas,
He studied in Italy,
Drew horses in Normandy,
Ed Dégas, Dégas…

The others are openly ignoring her now, pretending she is waiting in the coat-check line alone, or possibly with someone, anyone, else. After a pause, Johann speaks to her.

Johann: So are you done now?

Lisa: No, no, I’m trying to think of something that rhymes with “Whistler’s Mother.”

Johann: How badly do all of you want your umbrellas back?

Jim: Not as badly as I want a cocktail with lunch.

Joyce: If you people need me, I’ll be in the gift shop buying a new umbrella.

* Based on a true story. Details have been exaggerated for comic effect. Author did not actually sing in museum. Author still thinks “Show Me the Monet” is pretty funny, though. No umbrellas were left behind in the making of this scene.

Bring On The Night…

Andy and Sting

Bonjour from Paris! We spent five wonderful days there with my parents, but photos of our adventures will have to wait, as The Jimmer accidentally packed the cord that connects our camera to the computer and took it back to the States with him. But while it’s on its way back to us, I can tell you about one of the highlights of the trip, which was The Police concert last Saturday night.

What a show! Our seats were terrible, but it didn’t matter, I still clapped my hands raw and sang myself hoarse. Fiction Plane, Sting’s son’s band, was the opening act and really very good, even though we were so far away that we couldn’t read the name of the band on the big screen behind the stage.

Sting

Our section was too far away to get very fired up and stayed in their seats for the majority of the show, which was a shame. Near the end, though, a couple of people started to stand up, so I took that opportunity to jump out of my seat, turn around and yell in French, “Come on, Section X, on your feet!” Johann looked like he wanted to crawl under the seat and die from embarrassment. But what do I care? They all stood up. Even him.

For the last encore, as a special surprise for the French audience, they brought out old Henri Padovani to sub on guitar. Henri, in case you didn’t know, was The Police’s original guitarist (and a Frenchman), but was let go in favor of Andy Summers way back when, before they were famous. The four of them took a bow together at the end, which was trés cool.

When I first became a fan of The Police, I was fifteen years old. But that was in 1986, and the band was finished by then. So I never thought I would have a chance to see them live and last Saturday night was a dream come true for me. Merci mille fois, Johann. Je t’adore, mon chou!